Chats through the rearview mirror Vol I

As the kids get older I find myself forgetting the funny little way they say things or the wild, imaginative stories that come out of their mouths.  So these are for me, to remember, and maybe you will find them funny too.
Emma: Mom, can I have your pencil sharpener when you die?

Me: You mean the one I've had since I was 8 that gets pencil shavings everywhere?
E: Yeah.
M: Okay, but what if Bobby wants it?
E: No, I asked for it first. He's gonna need to find his own pencil sharpener.

~~~~~~~~~

Scene: Lowe's little kid craft area

Me: Sorry I messed up your project Emma. I can't get the nails out but we can take it home and I'll fix it there.
Em (with arm around my shoulders): Its okay mom. I won't feed you to the goblins, today.
Me: Today?! As in that's strike one?

~~~~~~~~
Scene: Early Morning Car Ride to Daycare
Em: Can I have a piece of your toast mom?
Me: Sure
Em: Can you NOT tell Aunt Lala that I'm eating this so I can have breakfast again at her house?
Me: Giggling quietly, in my best Hobbit voice But what about second breakfast?

Same ride - different kid (this one is really only funny if you know that I (And my daddy) put butter on everything, and I mean everything:
Burrito: Mom, Did you put butter on this toast?
Me: Yes
Burrito: Why?
Me: Because its delicious
Burrito: Oh, Okay. (said in my Oh, Okay way - intonations and everything, but wait, maybe that means he was mocking me)
~~~~~~~~
Em: Mom, after this goldfish dies.  Can I get a new one?
Me: Sure
Em: I think I will name him 'Heaven'.


to be continued....