If you are traveling along the loneliest highway in America and you find yourself in Middlegate. You might as well stop in to say hi.
And if you stop in to say hi, you might as well order up a bloody mary or a monster burger because they are both tasty and delicious.
(and while we are on the subject of tasty AND delicious....the chicken fried steak is also amazing, just sayin')
And after you've tried your hand at eating said monster burger, you probably will need to wash your face. On your way to the bathroom you might as well walk slowly and see if you can find anyone you know's John Hancock on one of the dollar bills on the ceiling.
And if you find yourself in Middlegate, you might as well travel a hop skip and a jump to see what Gabbs is all about. Don't worry, if you lose your high security motel room key, it's postage guaranteed. But do watch out for cows in the road. You can thank me later.
If you find yourself in Gabbs on St Patty's day weekend, you might as well go to the fireman's ball. There really isn't anything else to do that town anyway. And if you go to the fireman's ball, you might just find yourself staring at an old man in a leprechaun outfit....right down to the sparkly, green shoes.
And if you find yourself at the fireman's ball in Gabbs on St. Patty's day, be prepared to not eat dinner till midnight. They were not joking about that. Not at all.